Getting Fired Can Be a Gift

Sometimes getting fired is a gift.  You are miserable because you and your new CEO have different visions and no matter how hard you try, you can’t see eye-to-eye.  Getting fired gives you time to walk in nature, climb mountains, get on the elliptical every day and do the things you know help restore you to good thinking. It’s also the easiest way to get access to your severance package.

If you’ve been fired, just remember: You’re not alone. As Dr. Howard Kirz once told me, “As a physician executive, it is not a matter of if you will get fired, but only when.  When it happens, you will have gotten yours out of the way.” Larry Tyler, CEO of the executive search firm Tyler and Company, says, “Have a good cry, tell your family, take two weeks off and then start your job hunt.”  He knew one person who kept pretending to go to work every day because he would not admit to his wife what had happened.  While it is more comfortable to be looking for a job when you have one, it is very difficult to have the time to do a methodical, well thought-out search.  Use your newfound time wisely.

Recruiters and hiring organizations know this happens.  You are not damaged goods.  Now, if there are three firings, they are going to think you are the problem.  Try not to take it too personally, although I have never exactly understood that phrase.  If something happens to me, it feels personal.  But try hard to look at it as the best business decision for the organization.  You were miserable with the new regime, even if you didn’t want to admit it.

When I was 24, my husband of two years left me.  I cried and cried and cried.  My mother said, “Someday I think you are going to see this as a gift.”  It was the best one he ever gave me. Without this setback, I never would have had the good 40 years with my second and present husband.  I didn’t have the nerve at 24 to leave on my own. 

It’s a cliché, but it’s true. Don’t view getting fired as a failure on your part. It truly is an opportunity.

How to Talk Back (Without Getting in Trouble)

Many of us were taught to not talk back in school.  That also applied at home for me.   When I was in the first grade, I got popped on the bottom with a slat from an orange crate when I sassed my father.  He ran a grocery store and I wanted two packs of 25 cent Blue Horse paper so my notebook would be thick, like the ones the older children on the bus had.  He said, “No.”  I said, “Well, if I can’t have two, I don’t want any.” Then I sashayed back into the store to put them down.  He was waiting for me when I came back.  He happened to be taking apart an orange crate.

I don’t think many parents paddle their kids anymore.  In fact, I’ve overheard disagreements where both parents and kids yell at one another with a nasty tone.  Neither approach is effective in the adult work place. 

I taught doctors how to deal with disruptive behavior last week during the program to become a Certified Physician Executive.  I always read recent articles on the subject to get ready.  I found one in the PEJ by Joseph Grenny, head of Vital Smarts, the group that wrote and teaches Crucial Conversations.  Not only did he discuss how to confront a physician who was behaving inappropriately, he also said an essential  part of the change process is teaching nurses and others who are lower in the medical hierarchy to speak up.  Grenny gave an example of a response a nurse could give to speak back respectfully.    I shortened his version because I don’t think I would remember all of it in the pressure of being yelled at:

I am not trying  to challenge your expertise.  I know you are a good doctor.  I apologize if you found my approach disrespectful.  I will work hard to address you as you deserve.  And doctor, I must ask the same of you.  When I shared my concerns about the patient, you raised your voice, you rolled your eyes, and you spoke to me harshly.  That doesn’t work for me either.  May I have your word that you will not address me that way again either?  (Adapted from PEJ Nov/Dec, 2009, “Crucial Conversations,” p. 32). 

When angry words are flying, I tend to think of what I wish I’d said an hour, a day, or a week later, but I think this kind of response is worth memorizing and keeping in your repertoire to pull from when things get heated.

It would be a new world in healthcare if everyone had the nerve to call out inappropriate behavior and  to talk back firmly and respectfully when spoken to in an ugly manner.  I know we all fear for our jobs and many carry fears from childhood, but it is worth thinking about how to say what you mean in a calm, confident voice when someone yells at you.  Here’s some food for thought:  If someone has yelled at you before and didn’t get a response, they will probably do it again.  So be prepared for next time:  Write out what you wished you had said, learn it, and say it next time. 

Why You Should Consider Going Back to School

I was pregnant with my first child when we moved to Charlotte, NC, for my husband to begin his pediatric practice with a large multispecialty group.  I had been teaching high school English for four years.

I wasn’t known in this new community, so it wasn’t going to be easy for me to return to teaching after my children were born.  I tried many activities: medical wives auxiliary, symphony women, book club and golf.  Nothing satisfied me until I decided to audit a graduate course in the religious department of the University of North Carolina-Charlotte called The Meaning of Death.  After three months of intense reading and writing papers, I realized: This is what makes me happy.  I love a syllabus in September.

I decided to take a course in the English department and apply for graduate school, just in case I decided to continue.

As ACPE’s career counselor, I talk to doctors who know exactly why they want a business master’s degree, but I also talk to others who are just restless and don’t know exactly what they want to do.  I’ll suggest that they take ACPE’s Physician in Management course and see if they get turned on.  Many do.

I took one class every semester for five years and got a MA in English.  It enriched my life and it opened doors I could not have imagined when I started that first course. 

Maybe taking a course or enrolling in a business masters program would add adventure to your life in unexpected ways. 

The Care and Feeding of Recruiters

For some reason, many clinicians think working with a recruiter marks you as second-rate, that a good clinician would not need one.  That is not true for physician executive searches.  Even though 70-90 percent of all jobs come through networking, you will often be working with a recruiter during the job search process.  These people are not beneath you in the prestige hierarchy.  They can be your life-line when you are fired, downsized or if you can’t stand where you are working.  Here are just a few pointers I’ve received from recruiters over the years.

Be polite in all situations

A recruiter told me a story about a physician who was ready  for an interview.  The sitter arrived, the plane tickets were in hand, and he and his wife were heading out the door when the phone rang.  It was the recruiter. Something that never happens had happened:  The organization fell in love with the first person they interviewed and they offered  him the job.  The physician didn’t take it well and yelled at the recruiter.  I asked, “Will you recommend him for another position?”  The recruiter said, “No, if he will do that with me, he will do it on the job. “

Be honest

Tell a recruiter the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  At the end of a phone interview or a face to face interview, they will ask, “Is there anything else I should know?” That means it’s time to come clean.  If you don’t  fess up now about  the  affair you had that  caused you to lose a job,  you can be taken out of the running or even  lose your job if they find out. 

Don’t be litigious

Larry Tyler, CEO of Tyler and Company, tells physicians, “Do not sue your employer if you want to keep working.  You may win but no one else will hire you. “

Involve your spouse in your decision

Have that dreaded conversation with your spouse about moving before you start a job search.  You will be happy and challenged in your new job so you feel you can live anywhere (not really true).   If you turn down a good  offer because your spouse won’t move, that recruiter will most likely be  done with you.

There are options to consider.  Some families can manage commuter marriages.  Some marriages have split because the doc went ahead without the family.   You can easily move children under 12, although they may cry or complain.  Thirteen and older is much harder and some have stayed behind to finish high school. 

Recruiters don’t demand exclusivity

Recruiters expect you to be working with more than one firm.  They can only present you for one search at a time.  If you are hunting for a job, the more options you have, the better.  It makes you calmer in the process.

Don’t ignore a recruiter once you’ve found a job

Return phone calls when recruiters  call you for suggestions for  potential job candidates.You never know when you may need them.  It is not unusual to change jobs every 3-5 years. 

Happiness Matters

I recently attended a workshop called Happiness Matters  by Rachel Brozenske.   She outlined the extensive research that shows it not only feels good to pursue happiness, it also improves your health, increases job productivity, strengthens your relationships and lengthens your life. There are four steps that help you move toward happiness. Seek activity that:

1.       Is pleasurable without being harmfully addictive to your body or to others. 

2.       Creates a sense of flow -- you enjoy yourself so much you lose track of time.

3.       Has meaning.

4.       Creates connection with others.

Pleasure at work:

I found that many activities in my job meet the four requirements.  I like talking to physicians about their career plans: the course work they need, the volunteer work they must do to get management experience and how their spouse might react to a required move.  I did that for my pediatrician husband who wanted to be a medical director, so I know emotions run high.  I enjoy the risks associated with teaching something new, especially when the experience is well-received.  These pleasures balance out the stress of never having an empty email box for more than a few minutes.  

Pleasure away from work:

Quilting is a new hobby for me.  When I quilt, I follow directions and put together pieces I don’t understand.  When I turn over the finished block, it is beautiful in ways I could not see as I was putting it together. Three hours can pass and I don’t notice until nature calls. I find connection and meaning by taking quilting classes.  It’s the first time I have sat with a group of women where no one complains about husbands and children—just quilting talk.

In this time of enormous stress in health care, it is important to think about taking care of yourself. 

What do you do at work or away from work that makes you happy?

There's No Avoiding It: You Need to Network

Recruiters tell me that people get between 70 and 90 percent of all jobs through networking—someone knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone.  It can happen over the back fence, where you get your hair cut, your house of worship or from a friend of your mother’s.  This means that most jobs don’t come from recruiters or job banks on the Internet, even though you need to watch all of those sources, too.  The hard part for most of the physicians I talk to? You have to talk more. 

When I say this on the phone there is often silence on the other end of the phone.  Then they say, “I don’t know anyone.  I’ve been busy practicing medicine.”  They are thinking—I don’t want to talk to more people.  I don’t know what to say.  I know what they are thinking because I feel the same way.  But step one of a job search is to change that behavior. 

The biggest problem for most doctors is getting started. So try these words and see if they will fit in your mouth.  Use them at cocktail parties, breakfast, lunch, breaks, on airplanes, even when you’re waiting in line:

“Hello, how are you?  Where are you from?  What do you do?  I am a pediatrician in Charlotte, NC.  I’ve become interested in the management of our multi-speciality clinic.  Believe it or not, I like being on the finance committee, but I need to know more so I am taking Financial Decision Making at this meeting.  It is challenging but interesting.  What are you taking? 

Keep talking till you make a connection.   You were born in the same city, went to the same college, know someone that went to their college, know someone who was born in their city.  Maybe you went to school with his wife’s sister, know someone from their country or your husband visited their country when he was in medical school.  Then you can get another chicken wing and move onto the next person. 

Networking is hard for me.  I’m an Introvert, which doesn’t mean I can’t walk, talk and tie my shoes but it does mean words do not come easily to me in large noisy crowds.  I have to go into a cocktail party with a plan and a script. 

First, I’ll set a goal. For example, I’ll plan to meet five new people.  Then I rehearse my script: “Hello, I’m Barbara Linney, ACPE’s career counselor. “  If they don’t know ACPE, then I switch to, “I work for an organization in Tampa that provides management education for physicians who are moving into administrative or leadership positions.”  If they glaze over, I move on.  If they perk up, I say, “Physicians can get a masters degree through us and one of our four affiliated universities.”  If I get to the list of universities, the listeners are typically impressed and will ask me more questions. 

Networking is not just asking someone for a job.  It is building and maintaining relationships and friendships. It’s not just to benefit you. You’re also helping people find information, letting them know what you are doing and being interested in what they are doing.  With a little practice, it becomes easier. Even for an introvert like me.

Finding the Right Fit: When A City Doesn't Feel Like Home

What happens if you take a job in a new place and the city isn’t a good fit? 

It would be best if you could tough it out for two to three years but don’t stay for ten if you are miserable.  I had to give up a great teaching job at a North Carolina college to move to Florida so my pediatrician husband could be a medical director.  I'll admit -- I was a basket case the first year.  But by the second year, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Rather than focus on how unhappy I was, I started to work on a PhD in English.  I’m always happy going to school and it turned out to be a great career move for me.  

I stayed in Florida for 12 years because it was the right place for my children to graduate from high school and I got a great job.  When the second child left home, my husband  began networking and interviewing to try to get us back to Charlotte, NC.  My boss in Tampa said I could work remotely from Charlotte just as I had from Orlando.  A physician at an ACPE cocktail party said, “Thomas Wolfe said you can’t go home again, but he had a lot of problems.  I think you can.”  She was right.

Let's say you are unhappy in your new city. What can you do? Recruiters say 70-90 percent of all jobs are gotten through networking.  Think back to people you went to medical school with or trained with.  Where are they now?  Would you want to live there?  You can’t just come out and ask for a job, but you can make a phone call, catch up, ask them what their medical community is like and say, “I’d love to live in your area.  Would you let me know if you hear of any opportunities?”  Also regularly check ACPE’s job bank and the websites of any recruiters who are listed in our job bank.  Something might pop up in your favorite city. 

Just be careful: Recruiters tell me you can make one quick move if the place or chemistry is not right. But if you make two, employers begin to be suspicious of your staying power.